Like it or not:
Personal life and work life are connected.
Haven’t you felt the connection before? It is difficult to focus today because something at home this morning set your attitude and outlook for your day. Whether it was a disagreement with your wife, a scolding of your children, or even the burnt toast you devoured on your way out the door. On the flip side, a productive day at work where you made that sale or landed that contract typically can energize the rest of your evening by taking that excitement home.
We all say “I can keep work and home life separate” but do we?
How many times have we thought to ourselves about a co-worker “you can tell he had a bad morning at home” or you go home, and your family says “wow you’re coming home in a good mood”
It is undeniable that our work domain and home domain are connected.
Some people are better than others hiding it, but the connection is still there. Think about it…. God created work to be worship and your faith should impact your work. Excitement, sadness, laughter, sweat, and tears affect every facet of our lives, and so the lines between personal and work are not as clear as we may think. Even though I hate to admit it I can still remember the time when I sat at my desk and cried about a co-worker, my mentor, being fired. I was deeply affected by this, and it didn’t stop when I “punched the clock”. That emotion went home with me. Sure, we can put on a happy face when we go home but faking it can’t last forever. Eventually, emotions we have will affect one domain or the other.
If we don’t find a balance neither area will be healthy.
Consider this…
If your talents and abilities are a gift from God, then wouldn’t you want to cultivate them in both your personal life and work life?
If you go to the gym, do you only work on leg strength? Do you just focus on arm strength by focusing on curling? How about only doing bench-press to work your chest muscles every day without a little work on another muscle group. Whether you focus on one muscle group a day and change it up each day or focus on multiple groups in one day, the point is you try to balance out all areas of muscle growth. You understand that you don’t want to “bulk up” in one particular area. So should be the practice of your life as well. However, a lot of people live this way. They focus on either growing their personal side of life or on the work side of life and in reality, one is going to suffer.
Have you experienced this? You’ve spent years pursuing your “dream” at all costs, neglecting family or God, or sacrificing your integrity to get there. Or were you offered a promotion at work or had an opportunity that may have been a bit of a stretch for your skill level?
1Author Steve Graves says this,
“That happens all the time. A hard worker can suddenly find their career on the fast track, only to reveal the immediate need now to grow as a person to meet the challenge. It is very common to see overachievers soar up the career ladder with bigger and bigger opportunities raining down on them.”
Are you being honest with yourself?
True leaders who want to grow by embracing these situations look in the mirror and honestly admit they are in over their head. They realize they have the knowledge connected to the work, but desperately need the level of leadership needed for the new opportunity.
However, many people go the opposite way. They place their focus and energy on the personal side. They indulge in books on personal growth, invest tons of time in personal growth but never work to grow their professional skills or desire to have an impact on others through their work skill.
Graves states,
“People of faith often make this mistake (It’s people who focus exclusively on personal growth and never ask the questions “What for?” or “For whom?””
Ones who focus only on skill forget that personal growth also increases their impact.
The author Gustave Flaubert said,
“Be steady and well-ordered in your life so you can be fierce and original in your work.”
New opportunities will come in each area you grow in. Focused growth in your work domain can lead to success or a promotion. Growth in your personal domain can lead to self-awareness, genuine friendships, and a better understanding of others outside of work. The challenges in life and work often keep getting bigger. Make sure you’re “working out” both domains of life equally.
How do you see your work and life connected?
Which one do you favor developing over the other?
Do you have to intentionally focus on the side you lack growth?
Is your personal development complimenting your work domain and your work development complimenting your personal domain?
Steve Graves has been advising CEO’s, Business Owners, and Entrepreneurs for over 25 years, working with hundreds of organizations from Fortune 100 giants to small boot strapping start-ups. He has authored eighteen books and worked with thousands of leaders weaving themes of strategy, leadership and faith hoping to help people flourish in their life and work.